Paradise Lost my version
by xoitsme848ox
Summary: Reed, Josh , Noelle, Dash. Being a billings means theres always drama.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! So previously I was writing a Revelation story, but since that book already came out I thought ok I'll just write Paradise lost! So please tell me what you think!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the "Private" Series Kate Brian does!!**

**Waking**

"Beep, beep, beep, beep." Was all I heard, I slowly opened my eyes. 'Where am I?' I thought, and then it all came back to me. The night my so called best friend tried to kill me. Sabine; sweet, innocent Sabine had been the devil all along. All I remember was Sabine pulling out a gun and then Josh… O'my god Josh was he okay? I slowly opened my eyes, I looked around the room.

Noelle was sitting in a chair beside my bed, her eyes were closed and then I saw him. Josh, he was holding my hand and sleeping in a chair with his head laying on the my cover. I reached over to him and brushed my hand over his cheek.

His eyes slowly opened, "You're awake! O'my god, you're awake!" His eyes gleamed with joy and happiness.

The movement woke Noelle up too. "Reed! My god I was so worried!" Tears came to her eyes, "They said that you had a 90 percent chance of making it through. Your mom almost had a heart attack when they told her."

I smiled at them, "Yeah I'm awake. What happened anyway?"

"Sabine pulled the trigger, but before she did ,Josh here, pushed her so when she pulled it gun only hit your shoulder." Noelle said pointing to the bandage around half my upper side.

"Only? The damn bullet still hit her." Josh said his face getting red.

"Guys please don't fight. Umm are my parents here?" I said trying to get a glimpse of the window where I saw a ton of people.

"Yeah, they are. And so are a lot of other people. But you're parents went to go get some dinner, they should be back soon." Noelle said looking at her watch. "Will you two be okay for awhile I need Starbucks asap!"

"Yeah, I guess we can manage!" Josh said teasingly.

"Whatever, Hollis. Reed I'll need to talk to you later."

"Umm okay." After I said that Noelle gave me a quick wave and walked out the door.

"Look Reed, we need to talk. These past couple days…"

Before he could say more I had to interrupt, "Past couple days? How long was I out?"

"Umm about 4 days. Anyway back to what I was saying. Reed, almost losing you for good made me think; it made me realize Reed Brennan I am uncontrollably in love with you!" My eyes started to water.

"Ivy?"

"Ivy and I talked and we broke up. So now we are friends. I think."

Tears started flowing from my eyes, Josh took his hand and wiped them away.

"I love you too Josh." He leaned over and kissed my forehead. Just as he was about to pull I used left arm the one that wasn't wounded and pulled him in closer for a real kiss. His lips were still as soft as I remembered.

Then someone coughed. Josh pulled up, and turned extremely red. "Do you mind if I talk to my daughter quickly Josh?" Standing in the door way was my mom. She walked over to me and sat down in the chair were Noelle had originally been sitting.

"No of course not. Reed I'll be outside okay." He said pointing to the waiting room. I nodded and blew him a kiss.

"Mom! It's good to have you here!"

"I'm glad to here that. Josh is a good guy, and you lucky to have him." I smiled knowing that what she said was true.

My dad joined us later and we talked for awhile, and waited to see what the doctor had to say.

"Well Reed, you are very lucky. The bullet has been removed, but the wound still needs to be clean at least once a week. So I would say you can go back to school, but you will have to come see us every Friday after school for about 2 weeks. Also you can't play any sports or so for about 12 days. But since Christmas break is coming up you won't have to worry about that! So unless you need anything else you are free to go home!" The doctor smiled at me and then walked back out the door.

"So I can go back to school?" I said pulling off the covers.

"Yup, and since we won't see you for Christmas I guess this is good-bye." My dad said pulling me in for a hug.

"Wait why won't you see me for Christmas?" I said pulling away.

"Well aren't you going to Aspen with Noelle? Cause she said you were." My mom said looking at me confused.

Speaking of Noelle, she came walking through the door, "I thought you might need some clothes so here you go!" And she place several shopping bags on my bed.

"So I'm going to Aspen with you huh?" I said trying to sound mad, but I knew it wasn't working because I could see her smiling.

"What? I was going to tell you but you were sort of sleeping." She said, "Duh!" She laughed and then said, "That is only if you want to!"

"Of course I want to!" I said walking over to give her a hug.

"Reed, honey; me and your mom have a flight to catch. So this is good bye! But you better come home for Spring Break or something!" My dad said giving me a kiss on the forehead. I told them both good bye, and then went to go change into my clothes.

**Christmas**

It had been one week since I was released from the hospital, and things were going great. I had moved back into the Billings now sharing a room with Astrid. Josh and I were working on our relationship even though we we're dating yet. We decided to take it slow. And now it was Friday time to visit the hospital. Josh and I took his car, ever since the Thomas incident he had been driving a brand new Mustang GT. It was a shiny car convertible.

"Thanks for taking me." I said as I got into his car.

"Not a problem, it's my pleasure."

He intertwined his hand with mine and turned on the radio. Playing was my favorite song, Secret Valentine. He knew it was my favorite song so he turned it up and pulled down the roof.

_Soft kiss and wine  
what a pretty friend of mine  
we're finally intertwined  
nervous and shy  
for the moment  
we will come  
alive  
tonight_

secret valentine

We'll write a song  
that turns out the lights  
when both boy and girl  
start suddenly shaking inside  
don't waste your time

_speed up your breathing  
just close your eyes  
we'll hope it's not for nothing at all_

I was singing with the song, Josh was smiling and the sun was shining could it be anymore perfect? We pulled up to the hospital a short while later, and walked in hand in hand. I walked over to the sign desk, and sat back down next to Josh. I put my head in the soft spot that was between his neck and shoulders.

"I love you." I whispered into his ear.

"I love you too." He said kissing the top of my head.

A short while later, after some pain inspections Josh and I walked back out of the hospital. "Do you wanna grab dinner somewhere on the way back?"

I hadn't even thought about food but I was kinda hungry. "Sure, what do you have in mind?"

"Well on our way here was passed, a sushi bar, a steakhouse, and a McDonalds. What do think?"

"Umm I kind of in the mood for a Happy Meal, what about you?" A smile grew over his face.

"A Big Mac will work perfect, so McDonalds it is!" He walked around the car to open the door for me, and then got in the car himself.

"Okay, sounds good to me!"

After are very unhealthy dinner we made a our way back to Easton. We had about an hours drive left when it started snowing! Yes really snowing. About 10 minutes the snow had turned into ice. Josh had decided it was to dangerous to drive like this so he pulled into a Courtyard Marriot.

We walked inside and asked to use the phone. Josh called Mr. Cromwell.

"Yes, hi Mr. Cromwell. This is Joshua Hollis calling, this afternoon Reed Brennan and I got passes to see the doctor. Well it started snowing and now there is black ice. So I was wondering if we would spend the night in the Courtyard, off 3-84 interstate. Yes, of course we will get separate rooms. Yes, sir. Okay we'll make our way back first thing tomorrow. Okay, goodnight sir."

"Umm do you have to available suites for the night?" Josh asked at the front desk as I went over to see what was going on.

"Well Crom said we could stay the night as long as we were in separate rooms, and he wants proof. So I'm getting to rooms and then the choice is yours."

"What's my choice?"

"If you want to sleep in my room tonight, or if you want your own room."

"Well I think you know the answer to that!" I said pulling him in for a quick kiss.

"Sir." The lady at the front desk said, "We only have on suite left, but we have plenty of other rooms left. So you could get one suite and one normal room."

"Sounds good!" Josh said and pulled out his black American Bank card.

"Umm Josh we don't have any extra clothes." I said smiling up at him.

He put his arm around me and we started to walk towards the elevator. "That is not that big of a problem. We'll go naked!"

"Uhh Josh, very funny." Pushing him away. He was laughing of course.

"Geez I was kidding." We stepped into the elevator and made our way to our room. The room was larger then my room back in Croton.

"Well I'm going to shower, I'll be back in 10 minutes." I announced.

"If I come with you we will save water and be done quicker."

"Josh, come on this is so not romantic, please can we wait?" I said making my way over to the bed where he was laying.

"You're right, I'll wait. But that doesn't mean we can't make out right?"

"When I have I ever said no to kissing you?" I leaned over and kissed him. Slowly at first and then more passionately until I pulled away.

"Reed, your really killing me here!" He said as I walked into the bathroom and once I closed the door got undressed.

"You'll live!" And with that I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Once I was done, I put my underwear, and put on a bathrobe. I dried my hair quickly. I left my bra there to tease him, and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hey can I wear your shirt?" I said, and walked over to him. "Please?"

"Reed, this is really not helping, but fine have it." He pulled off his shirt and walked into the bathroom.

I grabbed a pillow and put on the end of the bed, turned on the t.v. nothing good was on so I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

"Reed?" Josh asked quietly.

I opened my eyes, and rolled over to my other side where Josh was playing with my hair. "Yeah?"

"I love you!"

"I love you too, Josh"

"But that's not all. How about you spend Christmas with me and my family in the city? My parents want to see you again and my brothers wanna know who this hottie is that I can't stop talking about!"

"Josh," I said putting my hands lightly on either side of his head, "I would love to!" And I leaned in to kiss. We made out for forever, until he pulled away.

"Wait I thought I was the one who always got to pull away, because if you ask me I wasn't going to pull away for awhile."

He smiled and then asked, "So you are really okay with this. Spending Christmas in the city?"

"Yes." I answered simply.

"Good, but let me warn you my family is crazy!" I laughed and then we went back to what we were doing until I finally got to tried and went to sleep.

**So what did you think? PLEASE review!! Thank you :]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you! Enjoy :] BTW I read in one of the stories that Josh's brother Lynn's gf's name is Gia so I'm going to go with that. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the private series, Kate Brian does!!**

**Party to Plan**

The next morning after breakfast Josh and I made our way back to Easton, even though it was still snowing a bit we knew we couldn't stay longer. The night before had been amazing, Josh had asked me to go to New York City with him! Even though I told Noelle I would go to Aspen with her, I knew she would understand.

A short while later we where home, we kissed each other goodbye quickly and then I made my way back to the Billings. "Guys I'm home!" I said as I pushed open the door. In the living room, my friends sat drinking hot coco in front of the fire.

"Reed! Sit down, we need details!" Noelle said pulling me down on the couch with them. So I told them what had happened leaving out the stuff they didn't need to know.

"Noelle, please don't get mad, but Josh asked me to spend Christmas with him and I really want to. I know I said I would go to Aspen with you but you got to understand. Right?"

"Yeah, I understand but now what am I going to do in Aspen by myself?" She asked.

"Invite Dash?" I asked looking at her to see if she liked the idea.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed.

"I have another idea how about a New Years Eve bash in the city? Rent a space where there's a roof deck and watch the apple drop from there. How does that sound?" I said looking around to see the expressions on my friends faces.

"O' my god, Noelle don't you think that would be perfect? And my step-mom owns a huge loft with roof deck in Times Square. I mean the downstairs is here office but the upstairs can hold about 500 people comfortably. Plus the roof deck is huge, and it includes a heated pool!" Vienna said, with hope in her voice.

Noelle smile her knowing smile, "That would be perfect! Yes, we are going to have a party!"

"How about we split the work up?" Astrid said, "Like for instance, I would be in charge of music. Making sure the DJ plays good music and getting together a descent playlist. And then maybe you and Reed can do décor."

"Yeah, I could invites done, from the same place that did the Legacy invitations." London said.

"I could make the guest list and rsvp list!" Vienna said.

"O' my god! I am so doing drinks!" Shelby said, then she looked at Constance, "How about you do food and then we'll see what drinks and foods go together well."

"Okay!" Constance said, happy to be included in the planning of the party!

"Wait! What am I going to do?" Portia questioned, looking a bit sad that she didn't have anything to do.

"I got it! Fireworks! We are going to need fireworks!" I said looking at her.

"This sounds great, how about I take pictures; I mean we are going to get all pretty and dress up, don't we want to have to pictures to prove it?" Tiffany said pulling out one of her many cameras.

Noelle smiled, "It's a done deal! Girls we have a party to plan!" And so for the afternoon we planned our party, and instead of going to dinner we ordered in! This party was going to be amazing and the best part was it was something they could work on as a team, this was their bonding time.

The next morning, it was Sunday which meant after breakfast we moved to the Chapel for a short time.

"Hey, I missed you at dinner last night." Josh said putting his arm around me. We were in line for apple pancakes.

"O'yeah sorry about that, we were planning a New Years Eve bash, with fireworks and watching the apple drop from Vienna's step-moms home." He could tell that I was excited about this, but of course he had to think of a reason to make it negative.

"Sounds great, a bunch of drunken idiots shooting of fireworks!" he said sarcastically.

"Josh! Why can't you be happy for me? I mean this was my idea and they loved it, and I'm not planning on getting drunk anyway." I said grabbing a plate. His negativity was not really what I needed at 8:30 in the morning.

He pulled me close to him, and even though I tried to resist I couldn't not only was he stronger than me but he smelt like Burberry Brit and slightly like paint. Very delicious! "Come on, don't mad. I was just thinking ahead." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed ever so delicately.

"Gross, please too early in the morning for all you touchy lovely crap." Noelle said walking up behind us.

"I was just telling Josh about the party." I said giving her a glare as if to say _be nice or else._

"Or else what? So did you tell Hollis that your ditching me for him over Christmas?"

"Noelle, please don't start with this now." I said turning my back on both Josh and Noelle.

"Why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one happy dancing over here." She turning me around so I could see Josh shaking his butt.

"Very mature. Both of you!" I grabbed my pancakes and made my way to the table where the Billings sat, not caring or waiting on either of them.

"Noelle and Josh already fighting?" Astrid asked pulling in a chair next to me. And Trey doing the same, only he pulled his next to Astrid.

"Course! As if all we want them to do is fight." I said angrily as I shoved a spoon full of cereal in my mouth.

"Whoo easy there tiger!" Josh said sitting down on my lap.

"Josh! Get off your heavy!"

"Fine, but I wanted to say; this morning has not been my finest hour and I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?" He pouted his lips, and I pulled him into a quick kiss. Maybe just maybe someday Noelle and Josh would get along. Just maybe.

**Getting There**

The rest the week went by fast, luckily I kept Josh and Noelle apart most of the time. Josh and I would go on walks at night, kissing, touching and exploring. We also talked about things, and I got to see another side of Josh. I had really broken down his wall, and now we talked about anything and everything.

Noelle and I hung out during the day, as we were busy planning the party of the year! We came up with more ideas and the thank god for London's connections we were able to send out 550 invitations by Friday of that week. Josh and I had made one last doctor's visit and now it was Saturday the day everyone was leaving for break.

I was about done packing when Noelle walked through the door and plopped down of my bed.

"Umm Noelle your bed is like 7 feet away." I said pointing to her never-be-made-in-my-life bed.

"Yeah, well I wanted to talk to you. Anyways, do you think Hollis and you are going to seal the deal? Because if you are you better not be wearing that." And she pointed at my Aerie pajamas.

"Noelle, why do you have to bud into by business? And don't you have to pack too?" I said looking at her; she was just lying on my bed doing nothing.

" Reed, I've had all my new clothes ready shipping there. They are just waiting to be taken of that hanger and be shown to the world! Now back to subject, since I knew you would be a total prude about this! I hope they fit."

She walked over to her closet and brought back 2 bags, I looked inside and saw the label. La Perla. I saw brightly colored silks, and o'my god.

"Noelle, I can't wear this. We are living in his parents' house. This looks like stuff you wear when shooting a porno."

"Reed, stop being so dramatic, this is tasteful, come on Josh will love it! Please, you know you wanna take it."

The truth was I was self- conscious, and maybe a bit nervous. "But I'm not taking all of that."

Noelle knew that she had broken through my barrier. "Yes! I knew it. By the way you have nothing to worry about, Josh loves you and you have an in shape body. It will be fine. "

I thanked her and went back to packing. I did take most of the lingerie, because I knew I didn't have anything to worry about. In fact I thought, why not put some on right now? So I did and before I knew it, it was time to leave.

Josh picked me up right on time helping with my bags, and then we were on our way.

The drive to the city wasn't too bad; Josh and I talked almost the whole way there.

"Josh?" I asked him after a while of talking.

"Yeah?" he looked over at me and knew I was about to have a hard time saying what I was about to say. I knew I was going to have a hard time too, but I had to say it.

"Do you think you can ever forgive?"

"Reed, forgive you about what?"

"Josh, don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about. The Dash thing."

His expression went from to confused to his poker face. He always put on that face when he wasn't sure how to answer a difficult question.

"Reed, that is history, and anyway Sabine drugged you. You forgave me for Cheyenne. But now let me ask you something. Can you forgive me for Ivy?"

I thought for a minute. Ivy. Had he ever slept with her? All of the sudden a million questions went through my head.

"Reed?" He said intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Yeah, I guess I do. I mean, it hurt seeing you with someone else but," o'crap my voice started to crack, "On the other hand I had hurt you even more. So yes, I forgive you."

"Good, because Ivy didn't mean anything to me compared to you."

"Okay, enough talk about that, how much farther?" I said opening the window, and then closing it again because it was quiet chilly.

Josh laughed, "Umm about an hour and a half. You should try to sleep. I'll wake you when you can see the skyscrapers."

"Sounds good." I said, Josh gave me his jacket and I balled it up against the window and drifted off into sleep.

A short while after I drifted off, Josh woke me gently. "Reed, we're almost there, you what to see the skyscrapers?"

My eyes popped open, "O'my god it looks so wonderful, even though that high up. Nah I rather stay ground! In those couple times that I've gone to the city, this one is probably the best reason!"

Josh smiled at me, "I'm glad you're excited!"

" Excited? That doesn't even cover it! I'm practically jumping off the walls here!"

Josh laughed, looked open to see a red light and pulled me in for a kiss. Ahh his tongue touched my and fireworks went off. I had to pull away though and show him the light had turned green again. He moaned but reluctantly focused back on the road.

I was like a kid and a candy store. I had never been able to see the city, the way I was when I was with Josh. He pointed out famous buildings. A short while later, after driving slowly through 5th Avenue, we headed for Central Park where the Hollis family resigned.

We pulled into a row of 5 story brick buildings. They were HUGE! Like my-house-could- fit-in-here-several-times huge!

Josh saw my expression, "Don't worry it'll be fine." He gave my hand a squeeze and we made our way to the front door, he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. We walked in and he called his parent's "Mom, Dad! We're home!"

He took my jacket and with his hung it up in the coat closet. We walked through the foyer, past a room that looked like a living room, and then into a stainless steel kitchen. Everyone seemed to be there. I recognized Josh's parents. And then I saw two teenage girls about 13 or 14, and then two older versions of Josh. Except Josh was the best looking out of the 3.

"Josh, it's good to have you home! And Reed it's so nice to see you again!" Josh's mom pulled me into a tight hug. Then Josh introduced me to his siblings. "Tess and Tori," he said pointing to the two girls, "You can tell them apart from the eye color. Tess has green eyes like my mom, and Tori has blue eyes like my dad. Then to my brothers; Hunter" he said pointing to the shorter of the two, "will be flying solo with Christmas, while Lynn," he said pointing to the taller and more friendly looking one, "has Gia. But I don't know where she is not now."

"She split milk all over herself, she should be back down soon." Lynn said, he smiled at me, "So you're Reed. This major hottie my brother talks about each time I see him. Not bad lil'bro. Not bad at all."

I blushed, so Josh talked about me at home; that's sweet. We spent a short time downstairs, I got to meet Gia, and then Josh brought our stuff from the car and we headed upstairs. He explained the levels of the house. "Well, level one is kitchen, living room, dining room. Stuff like that, it's were my mom has her parties. Then my parents are on level two, it's the level that's farthest away from all kids. Then level three is our entertainment area. It's just one huge room filled with games and stuff like that. Level four belongs to the twins. Then level five belongs to my brothers and me."

We arrived up at the fifth level of the house and made our way to Josh's room. There were five rooms upstairs, one bedroom for each of the brothers, Josh's art studio and then one was a mini theater. It had 8 big movie seats, and there must have been over a 1,000 dvd's. It also included a popcorn maker, candy machine, and a soda dispenser.

We entered Josh's room. It was dark blue, there were sleeves filled with all sorts of stuff; from pictures he had drawn to signed baseball cards. Then I stopped at what saw, it was a picture of me and him last fall, before our first soccer game. Both smiling and hugging. That was before Sabine and that nightmare with Cheyenne.

"You still have the picture. I remember Tiffany taking that last year." I said point to the picture.

"Yeah, I always hoped we would get back together I didn't even bother to throw it away." He said causally. I walked over and pulled him into me.

"Well it's a good thing you didn't throw it away." I said, he pulled me in for a kiss. Fireworks went off in my head; a moan can from my throat. He pulled me up farther so that I could wrap my legs around his waist. Gently he laid me down on his bed, and pulled of his shirt. We kissed a moment longer until I pulled away.

"Reed!" He moaned as I pulled away.

"Josh, please. I mean I need you as much as you need me, but can't we wait? Till Christmas please."

"Fine, I guess I can wait. And this way it will be more special. Okay, I'll be on my best behavior."

"Good, now you wanna go grab something to eat?" I asked taking his hand.

"Genius, just what I was thinking!" He said laughingly.

**OK what did you think?? PLEASE REVIEW!! O and can you give me some ideas of what reed and josh should give each other for Christmas.**


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